One Easy Step To Welfare Queen
My boss at the bar called me into the office when I rocked up to work yesterday afternoon."You're packing on the pounds," he said, sitting behind the packing crate that serves as his desk. He shifted his fat, unpregnant ass around until his too-tight levi's no longer chafed his piles.
I didn't say anything, seated myself on the crate in front of him, took a pack of Camels from my bag, lit one with the USMC Zippo in his ashtray. Either the lighter was a fake, found on eBay while he was looking for used Soldier of Fortune mags, or a real marine lost it in the bar sometime last year. The closest my boss ever got to military service was yelling abuse at a Fox News image of Cindy Sheehan from the comfort of his vinyl sofa.
"You shouldn't be smoking," he said. "Don't you got any respect for your kid?"
So he'd worked it out. While my fetus might still be in my uterus, the cat was now out of the bag.
"I smoke about forty of these secondhand during my shift," I said between drags. "What's the difference?"
My boss sneered smugly.
And that's how I lost my job.
So, I'm now unemployed, unemployable and pregnant. I'm definitely not going to be one of those things by January. If the kid's born he better learn how to stick up bars and 7/11's quick-smart, because judging by the pitiful balance in my Paypal account, there'll be nothing but Velveeta on stale bread for dinner for the next 18 years.
But like I've always said: if there isn't 40 thousand dollars in that account by October 19, the only thing that will stop the abortionist from sending junior on a one way trip to dumpsterville is a fetus-sized Glock and a clip full of hollow points. If you love my "womb-baby" more than I do, click on the donation button on the right.
*pic courtesy of www.patriotboy.blogspot.com
posted by stopmyabortion @ 4:10 PM
13 comments
13 Comments:
Michael, you're a fag. So maybe some of us aren't for having sex with random people. That doesn't mean shit. Sex is great...but you're just a nasty slut if you give it up to the first person/thing you see.
What this bitch is doing is bullshit. Sorry if you disagree.
I seriously wish your mom had opted for an abortion. All that negative energy...
i wish i could hide behind "anonymous" and insult people.
yay freedom of speech!!
NO ONE CARES FAGGOT, GO BACK TO FARMING THANKS!
KILL THE BABY!!! GO EAT A DICK
This is probably one of the strangest, oddest, and quite frankly most twisted sites I've ever seen. Still, it's permiated with a strange wit that keeps it (somehow!) from being completely crast and sadistic. As twisted as this seems (and is), you've pulled it off in a cleverly sardonic way, and I hope you make your money; more for your sake than the fetus', strangely. I'll attribute that to this blog being well-written. Good luck!
Why is that pro-lifers need to "put their money where their mouth is"? If pro-choicers are truely pro-choice and not just pro-abortion, they should help support any choice a woman makes which means funding your abortion or funding your child- whatever choice you want to make.
Where do you get that pro-lifers hate sex? Its not that we hate sex, we hate the killing of babies. We are not all the same. yes there are some anti-sex, anti-woman fanatics out there but the bottom line is the only thing all pro-lifers have in common is that we don't think it should be legal to kill another person regardless of their age. I say have sex with as many people as you want, whenever you want, however you want, just don't go killing your baby if you get pregnant.
You are out to "prove" that pro-lifers really just don't care about babies if it means they have to pay for it. The only thing you have succesfully proven is that retroactive abortion should definetly be legal, and mandatory in some cases, like for example YOU
"I hope she smokes her fucking lungs into cancer and gets that abortion. That way the estrogen that builds up in her breasts from pregnancy goes unused so she can get breast cancer while she's at it."
That was posted about you.
If you like fucking, wear a condom you stupid whore. Michael, just cause this girl sounds like an easy, Newport smoking, trailer trash whore doesn't mean by kissing the ass of her cause she might actually fuck you too.
This site is as retarded as asking Al Qaida to send the 9/11 victims money for their suffering. Fuckin stupid bitch
Why did you delete the comments? Did one of these whack jobs threaten you?
p.s. our so-called pregnant damsel-in-distress has an alias. the person called "michael" that leaves all the oh, so clever comments is also the owner of this page (aka pregnant chick that needs abortion money). see the resemblance in the ramblings? obviously he doesn't work for a living. Read quick-- he loves to delete these messages! I've left them time and time again and conveniently, they disapear!
what about a man who runs around fucking every woman he can? Do you call your male friends 'filthy sluts' when they run around banging every chick they can?
I doubt it. You see, in this fucked up society a woman who enjoys sex is a filthy slut. A man who runs around banging every box he can is a stud.
Um...I wasn't even talking about guys who do that. Don't get me started on them, I don't look at them any differently than women who do the same thing. And actually, I do get laid. I just don't have "random hookups". Don't say pro-lifers are against sex, because it's not true.
you don't sound sorry at all for being a queer-hating misogynistic piece of shit.
...I'm a "queer hater"? lol ok. Because I said fag in a derogatory manner? It's habit, excuse me. And I probably spelled derogatory wrong...haha, oh well, get over it.
"...took a pack of Camels..." CAMELS! that's the spirit, keep up the good work.
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