I'm Glad I'm Not In South Dakota!

(Click the cartoon to enlarge it, you blind fucker!)

I'm glad I don't live in South Dakota because:
1) I'd actually have to live in South Dakota. Is this even possible?
2) It's South Dakota, beyatch!
3) I'd have to watch 15 year-old girls give birth to their daddies' kids, since not even victims of incest get abortions in South Dakota.
4) I'd have no right to get the fetus known as Kristi Ann Sullins scraped and sucked out of my uterus on October 19th.

But "pro-lifers", here's your chance: Donate 40 thousand dollars to my Paypal account by October 19th and you can turn my reproductive system into your own private South Dakota! My vagina and uterus will be an abortion-free zone! Skip that extra Krispy Kreme and frappe' latte' tomorrow and throw the moolah my way instead! Do it for the fetus! You may hate me as much as I hate you, but you supposedly love my "womb-baby" more than your beanie-baby collections! What are you waiting for?